Interactive parental guidance
Becoming a parent
One is not born a mother or a father; one becomes one.
Many parents confide, often with a certain sense of helplessness, that there is no manual for raising a child. And indeed, parenthood cannot be learnt from books. It is learnt gradually, through the lived experience of being with one's children.
Parenthood is rarely a simple journey, and every parent knows moments of doubt. How can each member of the family find their rightful place? How can we help our children grow and flourish? How can we set boundaries that are both clear and consistent? How can we respond to our children's emotions while also making sense of our own? These questions are many, and parents are often left uncertain of which path to take.
What is parental guidance?
Parental guidance may be offered on its own or alongside a child's psychotherapy. It provides support to parents facing situations such as:
a child experiencing emotional, social, physical, behavioural or academic difficulties
challenges around discipline, whether in establishing parental authority or in raising a child alone
periods of family upheaval, such as separation, divorce, the disclosure of a family secret or the forming of a blended family
events affecting the child outside the family, such as abuse
circumstances within the family, such as bereavement, mental illness, adoption, academic difficulties, sibling rivalry, disability or giftedness
What does it offer?
Parental guidance allows parents to:
accompany their child more closely through their difficulties and help them flourish
grow in their role as parents
develop an approach to raising their child that feels true to who they are
The interactive approach
A shared endeavour
Interactive parental guidance is, above all, a collaboration. Parents are regarded as true partners in the therapeutic process, working alongside the psychologist to help their child through their difficulties.
A space for reflection
The psychologist offers parents a space in which to reflect on their experience of parenthood and on the unique bond they share with their child. Through a deeper understanding of their child's inner world, and of their own, parents are able to nurture a richer and more harmonious relationship.
Being before doing
A psychologist may of course offer practical guidance, much like a toolbox placed in the parents' hands. Yet parental guidance is not merely a matter of acquiring techniques. It invites us to consider a question that has occupied philosophers since Aristotle: can we truly change the way we act without, in some measure, changing who we are?
To possess a tool is not to know when and how to use it. A parent who embraces a so-called "positive" approach to parenting without genuine conviction, or in a way that does not reflect their own personality, will in time grow weary and may find themselves sending their child conflicting messages.
The art of parenting cannot simply be applied from the outside; it matures through experience. To parent differently, one must first come to experience parenthood differently.
Parental guidance, then, is not only about learning new skills. A lasting change in the bond between parent and child unfolds hand in hand with the parent's own personal growth.